Thoughts

So I sit here at 7 am, having been awake since 430 am because I am getting accustomed to the time difference between the US and Japan, I ponder the last two weeks of my life. I think about the friendships I have made that will last a lifetime, not only with Japanese friends, but with other ROTC students from around the country. As I think about each individual person, curiously, I am sad. I try to be true to my emotions, for they were created for a reason, and therefore I refuse to pretend I don't miss those guys and girls. There were very few times I was alone during these last two weeks. I can recall each and every time I was by myself, so sitting here by myself seems so foreign to me.
In Japan I was reminded time and again how relationship based we are as human beings. Each of us formed our friendships in our own way and were closer to some than others, but when you boil it all down, we each not only desire, but need those relationships. I begin to think of how I miss my Japanese buddy, Atsushi Suzuki and my friend Jim Grasmeder and his buddy, Dotai, and marvel at Christ going to the cross. I knew these guys for only two weeks, spending much of my time with them, but had I spent years with them, how much stronger would my emotions be! Stronger still if they had betrayed me in the hour of my need. I am grateful for the experience of visiting Japan and meeting each and every person I came in contact with. There is a reason for it all. But I can't help but turn back to the person of Jesus and confess that I missed Him while I was in Japan. Nonstop scheduling partnered with communal living, showering, eating and sleeping made it very difficult for me to put much of Jesus in my life in the ways I was comfortable with: reading the Bible at length, posting on this blog, conversing with friends, etc. I had to find God in the ocean breeze. I had to find Him in the beauty of the Japanese calligraphy. I had to find Him inside the people around me, even though they were not Christian.
I found myself having a great time, but longing in my heart to talk to someone, especially Obinna. I thought I could not handle my temper without the wise counsel of a friend. I felt unequal to the task of guarding the words coming from my mouth. I needed to grow spiritually in a new way, but did not think I could do it on my own, and yet I was not alone. As physically and mentally demanding as this trip to Japan was, I still found time to converse about the cross. I planted seeds where I was led to. I shared my faith. I wanted to do more. Isn't that the way we are? *wry chuckle* Always wanting something more tangible? Something more definite? I have many stories from this island country. Stories of magical-seeming places, foreign mindsets, stories of white hot temper and seasickness, but the memories most dear are the times spent with my friends talking heart to heart. There is something about making yourself vulnerable to another human and the reciprocity of such an action that binds your heartstrings together.
I think this is the goal of "loving your neighbor as you love yourself." When you love something with actions, words and emotion, you increase the capacity of your heart. That is my goal with my friends: to help strengthen them as they are the foundation of what God is building, as Obinna and Brianne discussed the other day, as well as bind us together in love. God bless you all and make His face to shine upon you and give you peace. Amen.