Sin, Redemption, and mowing the lawn

Three times the rooster crowed, three times Peter denied His Lord, and when he realized what he had done, he wept bitterly.
Me, I feel like crap. I worry that my heart is not contrite enough. After the wave of sorrow and guilt, it starts to fade a little. On the one hand, I know that I cannot be trapped and in a permanent state of guilt, that does not help at all, and would only serve to make me miserable. On the other hand, I don’t want to start taking God’s mercy for granted, because it was granted to me at a heavy price that I should not forget.
I guess that is the problem with struggling with sin, you not only struggle with the way you are going wrong, you struggle with the way in which you are making it right. As Christians, we prescribe to one particular way of reconciling ourselves to God, through Jesus Christ. We pursue a relationship with him and ask for forgiveness and salvation in his name. It is a process He initiated, not only in his incarnation, but in our creation.
I looked into my bible and one thing that keeps me from feeling kicked to the curb every time I royally screw up is the reminder that God loves me, and also has a job for me to do. I do not know if this is a guy thing, but few things can give me more pride and self esteem than being delegated a task by my dad and getting praise for a job well done. At the same time, nothing irritates me more than being given a task by my dad and then being interrupted by him and stripped of that responsibility because I was not doing it well enough to his liking. I guess I would rather do something h on my own and get accolades for than to have someone over my shoulder (someone with a more vested interest in the outcome of my work) and be critiqued or even overruled.
It’s funny, the way in which my relationship with my earthly father reflects the one I have with my heavenly one. When I think about it, if I love them, then it really is not about me being left on my own to do my own thing for them. It is about me lovingly trying to serve them in humility – its not about how I can be glorified, but how can be of service and thus glorify them.

In the Gospel of Luke, it said that when Peter denied Christ three times, on the third time Jesus turned and stared at Peter from across the courtyard, causing him to break down. I am sure it was a look of sympathy and love, and not a self aggrandizing “Told ya so, boy!” But the fact remains, Peter was faced with his failure. I often wonder, when Jesus predicted that Peter would betray Him, I wonder if there was a little pride in Peter’s staunch reply that surely he would not. Perhaps it was not all shock and hurt, perhaps there may have been a little bit of “Jesus, heh heh. Its ya boy Petey! I gots this” just like I thought “I got this” today while trying to cut the grass. (Note, Peter may or may have not been from the ghetto).
Sin inherently stems not only from our mistakes, but our conscious attempts at asserting ourselves (see Adam and Eve). While asserting yourself can be good in some situations, it really depends on what you, (or really me) are doing it for. The bible says that “there is a way that seems right to a man…but in the end it leads to death”

When looking in Isaiah today, I found this verse in chapter 44:21-22
“Remember these things, O Jacob, for you are my servant, O Isreal.
I have made you, you are my servant; Oh Israel, I will not forget you.
I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me for I have redeemed you”

This verse affirms that not only does God have a task for me to do that I can be proud of and Him to delight in me for, but that he is actively reaching out his hand do us. He will get rid of what stands in our way, that cloud of sin
In the gospel of Luke there is a profound story of life amongst the death of sin. We are so familiar with the story of Jesus on the cross with two other sinners. But take a close look again at that scenario in light of the words of Isaiah. When the simple plea of the master is “return to me, for I have redeemed you” just imagined how touched Jesus must have been when the humble thief said merely “remember me, when you come into your kingdom.” And I guess at the same time, think about how hurt He must have been at the mocking words of the irreverent thief. How Christ probably wanted to turn and say, “I’m here for you” .
I guess in sum I just wanted to say that our greatest reward, experience, and the end all of our existence is our relationship in Christ, not just the benefits, but the actual interaction between us and Him. And the ability to work for and with Him in building his Kingdom, taking up his cross, getting under his yolk. Work by nature requires humilty to do it right, and brings satisfaction when accomplished.